Don't. Please don't.
I didn't. I wont.

Ohhhh lord, jag har inte gymmat sen oktober. Har bara gjort situps och sånt skit hemma, men det känns inte som om att det funkar. Borde börja på min sport igen, saknar ju det. Skit. Gymma är ju så fucking tråkigt, och mitt gym suger verkligen - de har inte ens löpband eller några bra maskiner, bara tråkiga pass som man inte ens blir lite anfådd av. Bajzzzz. Är fet på grund av detta känner jag.

No more muffin tops.
No more wobbly arms.
No more jelly belly.
No more chubby cheeks.
No more thighs touching.
No more thunder thighs.
No more cankles.
NO MORE FAT.
I will have prominant hips.
I will have skinny arms.
I will have a flat stomach.
I will have a nice face.
I will have slender thighs.
I will have a gap between my thighs.
I will have thin calves.
I WILL BE SKINNY.
Summer will be mine this year. No longer will I fear wearing short shorts and bikinis.
New Years will be mine this year. I will have the confidence to feel good and party hard.
I will be able to have my boyfriend pick me up, I will be able to sit in his lap, I will be able to feel sexy for him.
I will be able to go out with friends and not feel gross and compare myself to every thin girl around.
I will be able to look good in photos.
I will be able to wear whatever I want.
I will be able to walk around comfortably in my underwear.
This is my time. I will shock all my friends and family.
I will get people talking about how thin and good I look.
I will get revenge at all the bullies and ex boyfriends who thought I was nothing.
I will prove them all wrong.
I will be comfortable.
I will be happy.
I WILL BE SKINNY.

inte skriven av mig dock, men den beskriver allt perfekt

Vill verkligen, verkligen, verkligen ha sommar nu, eller åtminstone vår. Okej, det har varit vinter i typ 3 månader så det är bara 6 månader kvar i det här landet haha, men alltså. Jag vill verkligen springa. Konditionsträning är det jag bränner mest fett av. Situp-skiten gör bara så jag får muskler som står ut som ett missfoster, ser ännu fetare ut. Men jag fortsätter göra de jäkla situpsen, för det får mig att känna mig bra och duktig...

"You won’t get there by making excuses.
You won’t get there by feeling guilty about a binge.
You won’t get there by letting people pressure you into eatting.
You won’t get there by eatting the foods you know are bad.
You won’t get there without exercising.
You won’t get there without feeling hungry almost all the time.
You won’t get there without having to hear that you should eat.
You won’t get there while just thinking about it.
You won’t get there just by imagining it.
You’ll get there by doing it"

picture this being you…you’re lying on you back, running your hands over
 your torso…luxuriating in the tightness of your skin over your tummy,
marveling at how there’s so little give when you press your hand against it,
how you can almost sense your inner parts right through it…you rest your
hands on your ribs and pause to just breathe in…out…in……..out………… you
ponder their graceful ebb and flow as they move together, perfectly synch-
ronized like a tender forest swaying in a breeze…you let your hands meander
 below to the small of your back — so tiny and arching so high! — and your
heart skips a beat as you feel a little spark of delight thinking, “that’s really
hot, isn’t it”, your fingers brushing against and caressing the deep contours
of your spine…you gently lift your hands to your hipbones, towering citadels,
and take refuge in their reassuring sturdiness, awed by their regal and
feminine strength, with which they guard your most delicate and priceless
 parts…you smile as you wonder how you can take so much pleasure from
such a tiny area of your perfect body…you softly take in a slow, deep breath
and let it out in a long, happy sigh…you know, you really know this time from
experience…
it was worth it

En bra Tumblr: http://how2getskinny.tumblr.com. Det finns så många awesome bloggar därute så jag blir helt galen! Man blir otroligt inspirerad och peppad ju. ♥

Eftersom att jag är officiellt den sämsta personen på att träna så har jag hittat en ny grej: att dansa. Hemma. För mig själv. Sätter på någon skön danslåt och dansar fult som en idiot, men efter någon timme blir man anfådd och ja - det bränner kalorier. Det är rätt kul faktiskt.

Senaste tiden känns det som om att jag har lost track lite, har ätit en massa skit (fast ärligt talat så gör jag det hela tiden). Börjar bli en fetma-tjej som äter sina känslor - allt suger just nu och då äter jag som fan.

Längtar till sommaren så mycket! Då SKA jag vara smal, snygg, fin! ♥